


(they/i/you) don't care.

by orphan_account



Series: don't care. [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Developing Friendships, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Nice Flowey (Undertale), References to Depression, Sad Papyrus (Undertale), Suicide Attempt, ventfic, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 02:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21111320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Papyrus is having some not-your-ordinary-Papyrus feelings. Flowey talks them out with him.





	(they/i/you) don't care.

“Flowey,” Papyrus starts slowly, “do you…like me?”

Flowey makes a face. The two of them sit underneath the fissure in the mountain wall, bathed in moonlight, Flowey sitting in the flowerbed and Papyrus sitting near the edge of the room, drawing circles into the dirt. They’d been there for a while drenched in silence, neither of them daring to break the thick tension between them. Just them, the stars, and this overwhelming feeling that something is terribly, eerily wrong.

“I tolerate you more than most,” he says after some thought. 

“No, I mean—are we friends? Do you…care about me?”

Flowey hesitates. He looks the other up and down, narrowing his eyes, “I don’t care about anyone, Papyrus. Kind of happens that way when you don’t have a soul.”

To his surprise, Papyrus just nods, as though he expected this. The skeleton pauses, fingers twisting in the grass. “Did you care…before?” he asks.

“I didn’t know you before—”

“I mean about anyone. Or anything. Just—did you feel things, Flowey?”

The flower frowns, “_No_. Why’re you asking these stupid questions? Why’s it matter?”

Papyrus pauses. “…I guess it doesn’t. Forget I asked.”

That doesn’t sit well with the flower at all. Grumbling, adjusting his vines, Flowey throws his head back, looking up at the moonlight above, trying to move passed it. Trying to think of something else.

He can’t.

“So, why are you _really_ here?” he sneers, leaning forward. “Surely, you didn’t come all the way down here in the middle of the night to ask a bunch of stupid questions.”

Papyrus wraps his arms around his legs. Hides his face in his knees. Sobs, shoulders shaking as painful sensations wrack through his body. His next words come out in a rush of tears and choked breaths, the skeleton struggling to make himself coherent, “I don’t know. I don’t _know_.”

Flowey watches all of this, his tiny eyes widening slightly in surprise.

Papyrus never cries. Not in front of others, at least.

“I tried so _hard_,” Papyrus whispers, grip tightening around his legs. “I tried to be good. I tried to be kind. I tried to help—but nobody ever cared. Nobody ever noticed. And when they did, they always made me feel stupid, and bad, and wrong—like I was bad for talking when they didn’t need me to or acting when I wasn’t supposed to. Like nothing I did mattered. Like I was just…taking up space.”

Flowey sits in silence, unable to find his voice. Forced to sit and listen.

Papyrus continues, a smile twisted onto his face, “And…and I realized, after this talk with Frisk—people only care about you when you act a certain way. They don’t actually love me—none of them do. They just let me spend time with them because they can get something out of me.” He laughs; a broken, strained sound, the skeleton crumbling in on himself. “And you know what? I tested that. I wanted to see what would happen if I did things I normally wouldn’t. Nothing too terrible—just, you know, certain phrases here and there, certain comments, slacking off a little. Stuff like that. And you know what?” he throws his arms out. “I got what I wanted! Everyone hates me! Even Sans says he can’t stand me—all because I realized I didn’t matter to anyone and was only good enough if I was being used.”

Guilt twists in the flower’s stem. A strange feeling resonates within him, one he can’t recognize, the urge to speak rising but words refusing to surface.

“And you know, I knew people could be cruel. You could be mean sometimes, Sans can be really awful, Undyne’s scary when she’s mad, Frisk killed the entire Underground a few times over—” _What?_ Flowey tenses at that, mouth hanging open, but Papyrus continues, either not noticing this reaction or not caring enough to point it out “—and there are so, _so_ many people who want me dead. Dead because I exist, dead because I said or did the wrong thing, dead because I believe something and they don’t agree with it. And I’m just…I’m so tired, Flowey. I can’t do it anymore.”

“…What do you mean?”

Papyrus rubs at his eyes, snorting. Hand touching the end of his sleeve, he says, “I…tried to disappear. On purpose. I know—I know that’s wrong, but—I don’t…feel like I used to. I love everyone so much, but I know they don’t care at all about me. I’m always so upset and angry—some days I don’t feel anything at all, which are the really bad days—and I just want to feel something other than _worthless_. And because nobody else wants me around unless I pretend, I figured—hey, why not? Maybe…maybe if I’m gone, I won’t be hurting so much.”

“You wouldn’t feel anything at all,” Flowey snaps. “You’d be _dead_, Papyrus.”

The skeleton winces. He sighs. “…I woke up at home. Everyone was really mad—there was a lot of yelling. They kept saying how there was no reason for me to feel this way and that I was just…making up all these problems.”

“…You’re joking,” Flowey mutters, “right?”

Papyrus shakes his head. “I’m serious.”

“I’m going to pulverize them.”

Papyrus giggles. “Flowey, be serious.”

“I’m completely serious! That’s bullshit—what the fuck were they _thinking_? That’s horrible! And I know horrible—I basically embody evil.”

“I don’t think that.”

Flowey just huffs.

Papyrus pauses, looking up at the moon. He sniffles, gaze drawn to his dirtied boots. “They, uh, went through my room. Took out a bunch of stuff—even stuff that made me happy. And after—after they got done yelling at me, everyone just ignored me again. Like nothing happened.” He waves a hand in the air. “So, I’m here now.”

“…I’m…wow. That’s…that’s a lot, Papyrus.” Flowey swallows. Clears his throat. “…Why are you telling me all this?”

Papyrus doesn’t answer for a while. He fidgets, fresh tears pricking the corners of his eyes, “I—I guess because you…understand. And because you don’t care. And you’re _honest_ about it. You used to pretend, but you don’t now, and—and I’m tired of being lied to. I just want someone to be honest with me.”

Flowey thinks this over. Looks the other up and down. Forces himself to take a breath.

Then, very carefully, he says, “I may not care, but I’m not an asshole. And if they aren’t going to love you…I can try to.”

Papyrus’ eyes widen, “But—you said—”

“I know what I said, you idiot! And I’m saying now, I’ll be your friend!” Flowey grumbles, looking away, “Besides, it sucks being down here anyway. Nobody else to talk to.”

Papyrus blinks. He rubs at his eyes, leaning forward, “Wait, so…you’re saying you’ll come back with me? And…and we can be friends? For real this time?”

“Yeah, well, somebody’s gotta make sure you’re not being a fucking numbskull.” Flowey bats him with one of his vines, earning a laugh. The flower hums, bouncing his stem slightly. “…Hey, Papyrus?”

“Yes?”

He hesitates, a small pout crossing the flower’s features. “…Promise me you won’t hurt yourself again.”

Papyrus’ hand falls on his arm again, “I—I can promise I won’t try to disappear. But—I don’t know if I can…stop. The hurting, I mean.”

“…That’s a start.”

They spend the rest of the night looking at the moon—and, before dawn, Papyrus left, only to come back later with a pot and a shovel, a smile spread across his face.

Flowey groans.

He should’ve known that idiot would take him seriously.

**Author's Note:**

> so much shit is going on in my life rn and i am not at all handling it lmao 
> 
> anyways here's this, i plan to write other vent fics involving these two bc i feel like there should be more friendship flowey & papyrus fics in the world. but with angst. and also with a touch of me venting abt everything going wrong in my life.
> 
> that's all, enjoy!


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